It turned into a total addiction for me. I couldnt stop, there were many times I was cut wherever my clothes would cover. It took a lot of effort and work to stop it, over years. Now I have ugly scars all over me and little growths and cysts that I have been told were caused by "skin trauma". I need to go under the knife to get them removed, which means more scars.

There are heaps of better coping strategies, its hard but you have to choose to do them, even choosing benzos is safer than choosing SI. Have you tried holding ice? Snapping an elastic band around your wrist? A very cold shower? Distraction is my absolute best strategy, If I cant concentrate, I chat online. Theres a ton more coping strategies you could choose but Im not going to type the lot out right now.