When I was diagnosed in 06 my husband went through a lot of upheaval as well. We both went to separate therapists for a while, I continue to go to mine, she has literally saved my life. We've also gone to couples therapy a few times but we had to wait until we had individually worked some stuff out. We've been married almost 28 yrs. I would suggest you get your own therapist or possibly look into a family support group like the one from nami.org Its free and for family members/significant others. That way you are taking care of yourself and perhaps the ther can suggest ways to get your wife to go also. I wish you the best.