Favorite thing about current T: She gives me a sense of hope about the future.
We do not touch except for a hand shake when we first met. I complained about not getting many hugs (two to threee a week at church) and she asked me if I ever get hugs from a counselor or would be comfortable with that. I said, " No." I transfered on the last counselor in a strange way. She made me think of a mother figure and it was very strong. I am not sure I want to invite some strange transferance into this relationship. Besides, I prefer to get my physical contact from people that doesn't outrank me. But, I fantasize about becoming a cat and jumping into her lap. Sometimes, I imagine me laying on the couch with my head in her lap and her running her fingers through my hair like my great aunt (died 2005) used to do.
Thing that I dislike about T: busy schedule, Sometimes, I wish she could read my mind. She brought up anti-depressants and I clammed up. She brought it up in session after session. But, she never ask me about if I had ever wrote up a pros and cons list on the subject. She never ask me why I was hesitating or what was I struggling with on this subject. She just kept bringing it up and doing almost all the talking. It was like she thought that I wasn't going to talk because I clammed up in the initial session about anti-depressants. She gave me advice once when I did not ask for it. I don't like advice unless I ask for it. I have not yet decided if I want to improve my diet. I just mentioned that I was thinking about it and she started giving me diet advice.
On the subject of sleeping/eating in session, my T drinks water at times. Sometimes she stops to search for some chap stick. When she gets dry lips and starts licking them, I get distracted by it. One time she stuck some stickers or something in the file. I started talking about "playing with stickers " at work (hanging sale tags). One time someone interrupted us. I forget what we were talking about. I doubt that I remember much from that session except that the intruder appologized to T and ignored my presence entirely. I know that people are not sure if the person is embarassed to be seen in therapy but I would have appreciated if she appologized to me in addiction to apologizing to T.
Pdoc got a phone call in the middle of session. GRRR!