plenty of people in chat, but need to talk here if you know what i mean. been on a high again today. now i feel like crap. feel like ihave a huge knot in my stomach- anxiety - feel crap about myself, crap about the world and crap crap crap.

maybe i should get tested for scitzophrenia can't spell either.

i'm sure people must get sick of me and my moods in here. feel like hibernating. maybe i should join fuzzy. don't think i'd be much company though. everyone in here is so lovely. i just feel really lonely, even though there are people here.
i have been given sleeping tablets, but i'm only allowed 1 every other day or three nights then off. i can't sleep without them but don't want to get addicted. i need more affection than i am getting at home. hubby loves me, but not enough, he finds it hard to hug and tell me he loves me. i know he does, but i need to feel that sometimes. wish i could just go to sleep for a month or something. maybe i'm just seeking attention. is that so bad?(i need proper love,)sorry, i've always craved love - never enough. just need to be understood. i want to scream right now - scream until i have no voice left. this knot just sits there, making me feel sick i hate this feeling.

jin

i lost sight of my rainbow