Hello Maranara: Having read your post, I just had to reply. Where to begin... I'm am old bugger. Like you, I was raised in a family where you didn't share family stuff outside of the home. However, the reality was that no one in the family wanted to hear about your problems either. So you just kept them to yourself.

I've lived my entire life as a male. But from my earliest years I always felt that I should have been female. And along with that I have battled major depression & a variety of anxiety disorders all of my life as well. But I learned very early on, I don't know how, that I must never talk to anyone about any of this. And so, I kept the secret, for the most part, for the 1st 60 years of my life.

A little over a year ago, I made my 2nd, & most serious, major attempt to end my life. At that point, I finally decided to "come out of the closet" as the saying goes. I won't go into allot of additional detail about this. But, along the way, I gave my wife a book to read entitled: "True Selves" It is a "primer", so to speak, with regard to transsexuality. It is always recommended as a book to give to relatives & friends to help them understand what being transsexual is all about.

Once my wife told me she had read the book, I asked her if she had any questions. She said no. That was it. I thought: how could a spouse (or parent, etc.) read that book under those circumstances & not have a single question? I still don't know the answer.

I guess I could, perhaps I should, ask her about this. But we've never had that kind of relationship. We've never engaged in heart-to-heart discussions about our feelings, etc. And this is due, I have to admit, at least in part because of my own upbringing. It's still difficult for me to talk about things that really matter.

I wish I had a useful suggestion for you. I don't. I would presume that your husband probably grew up with the same dictum you & I did. And I think that men in particular are especially reticent. Perhaps you just need to tell him of your desire to break up & see if this opens him to the possibility of talking this out. If not, then it may be that he's simply too closed off to reach. Anyway, hopefully my little tale is in some way helpful to you in deciding how to proceed.