Hello
My husband to whom I've been married to for almost seven months lost his mother about 9 months ago. He was extremely close to his mother. I have been able to deal with his grief a little easier as time goes along partly because I've gotten more accustomed to his behavior and he is seeming to improve. He does do things that still hurts my feelings. He still does some different things that I havent' seen a grieving person do before such as wear a small pin with his mother's picture on it every day on his shirt and when he takes it off/puts it on he looks at it and says "I love you mama, I miss you" and kisses it. He also goes to the cemetery with his father every day and talks to his mother and does a Bible devotional there with his dad (my husband is a preacher). He is still very good to me and he stil pays attention to me. However, we do not get as much alone time as we used to because my husband's father goes pretty much everywhere with us. My husband and I are about to move into our new home which is two lots away from my father in law (still walking distance). My husband told me he doesn't want his father to feel lonely so he still wants me and him to visit his father every day and spend a lot of time with him. I am expecting our first child and my husband is very good about taking off work for my appts. I don't have any complaints about how he treats me. He is still intimate with me just like he always has been. But, it still hurts me when he talks about how great his mother is, how "shes the best person I've ever seen, the best cook, etc" I guess it's my own insecurities with me being a new wife. He tells me often that he couldn't ask for a better wife than me and I'm a wonderful wife. When he gets sad and cries, I try to stay with him and comfort him as best I can (I usually just hug him and don't say anything). He has gotten better about being in a good mood around me most days except on holidays and anniversaries, birthdays, etc. What can I do to keep myself from feeling jelous and depressed when my husband focuses so much on his mother and wants to include his father in our activities? I've talked to my husband about him going to counseling but he refuses. I also talked tohim about me and him having a "date night" once amonth but he acts like I didn't say anything. Like I said, he is a wonderful person and pays attention to me, but I have an issue with how I am no long the focus in his life. His mother is the main person he thinks about. I guess I feel like he cares more about her than me, even though he tells me he loves me at least 3xs a day and is intimate with me pretty much every night. Can anyone who has suffered the loss of a parent explain my husband's behavior to me? I haven't lost anyone in my family close to me (I still have my parents and grandparents and I'm in my 30s). So I have a challenging time sometimes understanding where he's coming from. I want to help him though, and I feel like sometimes I dont' do that. He tells me I don't understand how he feels because I can't understand due to not going through it myself.Any advice from anyone will be greatly appreciated! Jane