Anilam,

I can understand lying and pretending to have a BF/GF. I did that in high school after getting tired of being made fun of and having people think I was a lesbian (this was many, many years ago when people were more homophobic than they are now).

I'm beginning to realize that making up stories about myself has been a somewhat recurring pattern. Feralkitty, yes, you're right. I know this is a great opportunity to explore the reasons behind it and start toward changing my behavior going forward, breaking old, negative patterns.

It's just so confusing because I don't want T to think our work over the past year has been all lies or based on false pretenses. I just keep thinking how I want to be 100% myself though and as Anilam mentioned, stop doing all the work needed to keep up the lies and stories.