I want to thank everyone for your feedback since I need the support right now. It meant a LOT to me to wake up this morning and read your support.

To answer some of your questions. The reason I went to see a CBT therapist is that initially I thought I was just dealing with Major Depressive Disorder and anxiety, and my understanding is that for those diagnoses, CBT has been shown to be most effective. I was unaware that the core of my problems was attachment issues and relationship issues.

I am not sure how being "intelligent" is being held against me. I *think* that she might have said at some point that smarter folks can talk their way out of CBT logic, and also build much more elaborate defenses. But I can't help but wonder if it has more to do with he, since she has mentioned in passing that I'm smarter than her and know as much as she does (which I think is ridiculous). She has also told me that when she talks to me she feels like she is talking to another professional/peer rather than a patient (I don't see why I can't be a professional AND a patient!)

When I started bringing up attachment issues, she mentioned Schema Therapy, which I thought was a perfect fit for me. But perhaps she is not a "full blown" Schema Therapist or is not trained to deal with whatever I have.

My "reasonable" mind keeps saying that she is being an ethical professional and is doing what she thinks is best for me. I agree that it would be easy for her to just chat about the weather and keep taking my money. My "emotional mind" just sees it as "no one will put up with me even if I pay them!" and I see this as more evidence of my greatest fear.

I did think she made a very poor call in just bringing this all up the last 10 minutes of session. I know she had to let me walk out of her office kind of a mess because she had a patient waiting. She was also very nonchalant about the whole thing, and her tone hurt. I know at some point she was trying to explain things to me rationally, but I felt like I couldn't process the information.

When I think about what I want to say to her, I just break down crying - this lack of control is so scary for me. I think I'm going to write down an outline of what I want to say and take it to session. I'll let her know how I am feeling and why. Ultimately she is in charge of treatment decisions.

Part of me wants to terminate and say things that will hurt her as much as I feel hurt (I know this is very irrational and I won't do it), and another part of me wants to shut down and be purely intellectual (my usual style). I need to find the happy medium.