I have always felt this way. I mean always, from a very young age. When my peers were playing in preschool, I was learning to read with the teacher. I have never ever felt like I belonged. Even at my summer job, where everyone acts like a family, I have been the outsider. I worked there for five years. Then of course my boss dropped me like the proverbial hot potato when my dx came out.

I'm just not good at sustaining friendships. I've never been friends with someone for more than a few years, if that. Sometimes I really get jealous of people who say they have a best friend, or that they've been friends with someone since elementary school, or even high school. I talk with NO ONE from high school. Not one person. The only person I've been able to maintain a friendship with is my sister in law, and that's only because she is family.

I've come to accept this about myself. I don't think it has anything to do with bipolar. It's just who I am; an odd puzzle piece that no one remembers putting in the box.

Even here I realize I don't really have any friends. I don't talk to anyone through PMs or anything. I just...I'm no good at it. Never have been and never will be. And 99% of the time I'm fine with it because it's what I've always known. I just don't do human connection.

I get it...you are, ironically, not alone.