Wow..Rose76, you get my problem!
I am bored, empty, and he is thrilling. Not saying I don't bring my own things to the table, I'm pretty awesome too, but I really need to develop my own fulfilling life. Deal with the inner void. This is what I call the mother problem, what you call the bigger broader problem. Sounds like you are familiar?
I am torn about telling him to FO. Sorry for the language, but I do feel anger sometimes, rarely, but want to allow myself to express it. I have thought about it. Am not there yet. I think I still harbor the hope that somehow things will work out.
Most of the things Ive read online about breakups have been superficial and hokie, but I stumbled on a page that was great. One of the lines I remember was that one of the "10" things to do to deal with it was to kill hope. As long as hope was alive, healing wasn't possible. I know this intellictually, but a part of me doesn't want to kill the hope. This is part of my obsession/sickness. But I am striving for this. I feel like I am making progress, wish I would hurry up a bit
It will never be less hard.. but yes, I am clinging to the hope that it will be. Since I've been here before, I think my problem is bigger than "him." I worry that I shouldn't date anyone else (not that I'm ready to), until I figure out why I am this way.
You have no idea about the addiction... the things I think and do, the time and emotions I invest, it's just insane.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
You just tell him that it's been interesting and fun, now and then, but you are not available for this anymore. Then you don't hope that he will counter by saying that he will change. He won't. He can't. You ask him to not call anymore or text or stop by your place. Then you make good on your new boundaries, which he is not allowed inside of.
I think you know what your have to do. I think you are wondering is there any way to make it less hard. If only . . . if only. It's going to be hard because you are obsessed. And you are bored enough with the rest of your life to believe that you need him to keep life interesting. So your problem is broader than just with this relationship.
You are fascinated with analyzing him. If you cut the tie and let some time go by, you'll eventually look back and realize that he's not truly all that interesting. But getting to that point is going to be hard for you. You're addicted.
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