If you can't talk to your parents maybe a school counselor or other counselor. You need to get help, so you can get rid of these intrusive thoughts. Hope you find what you need here. It's a great site for support,
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha