I am on short term disability after an accident. It pays less than half my salary, covers rent and half the food. Burning savings for the rest.

I could work part time at least. I asked once. My boss didn't email back. And I'm scared to go back to the office. I am in fragile mental state to go with my recovering physical state. That office is stressful and the CEO a piece of work.

Feel stuck. The longer I stay home, the less attached I feel and the less I want to return. I could stay home and job search, but what if I can't find a new job before disability runs out? My liquid savings would be gone. Then I'm going back full time into the fire pit.

Having to fight to get back in is the worst. Why should I fight for this. My boss said he'd be happy to have me back but now that I can come back, nothing. It's making me paranoid.

My psychiatrist says I need to work for my mental health. I don't do boredom. In the absence of work I have overdone exercise, causing new injury to previously uninjured parts to overuse. So now I baby that while rehabbing injuries from accident still. If I don't move the injured leg it will eat itself from inactivity, I already have fat necrosis.

I need the money. It would get me out of the house. I just can't bring myself to ask for it. I know I need to. I'm pretty sure I can. I may not like it, but I think I can do it.

Just scared and feel unwanted. Which is funny, I never used to be so afraid.

Don't know what the point of this post is. Maybe you've been in disability for whatever reason and made it back to work, I want to know how you got there. Maybe you know what it's like to be sick or hurt and halfway through recovery and just want your old self back. Maybe you know what I should do. Maybe you will just read it. Thanks for reading. I'll email my psychiatrist now.