Rough night. Tossed and turned and slept very little. I'm mad at everyone. I think my husband is tired of all of this and is just ignoring what is currently going on. The 2 "friends" I have (I have that in quotes because in reality they are just texting buddies... we never see each other) are obviously sick of me.

My paranoia (if that is really what is happening) is a little better today but I am still afraid of writing in here.

I so need a "calming" activity but I have no clue what that could be. The ones I've had in the past are not healthy. I've managed to stop those behaviors but I didn't replace them with anything else. Right now I need a friend to talk to and I just don't have that in my life which makes me feel extremely lonely and worthless.