I do agree with Coltranefantic, and I too worry for individuals who place this much emotional investment into another who, no matter what, cannot invest the same into you. I don't necessarily agree that this says volumes about one's mental state however. Feelings are feelings after all and no one, not even the most stable of personalities, is immune to this when placed into the therapeutic environment. We see what we want to see when we're attracted to someone and once we get beyond the initial infatuation and are faced with who they really are and you might not like it so much. But unless your T has ice running through their veins, they ARE going to show you aspects of the person that they are. It's not as intimate a relationship as many people would like, but I don't think it's as distant as some are making it out to be either (unless that's what you want).

I think a lot of the dependence on T's is seen with teenagers and college students and is to be expected. They are young and are still grappling with parental issues so having someone step in as a good parental figure can help a lot. Eventually I think these people will grow out of their T the same way a kid would a parent. So long as the T is competent and encourages independence at some point then I think its really helpful. I do think it is very different when adults have this level of dependence on their T though. At first I know it happens, it happened with me. But then at some point you do have to snap out of it and realize too much dependence is not going to help you in your outside life. There were times that I was upset in the last few years if my pdoc wasn't available on demand. I was lucky that he accommodated me in those darker times. But the truth is that if I demanded it often or became distressed at his going on long vacations, he may have reacted differently. The goal is to establish relationships in real life where you can go to someone in a time of need. If this isn't possible even after lots of time in treatment, then the T needs to address it differently, not become that relationship. The goal is for the client to see how their actions affect others, as well as how other's affect them and how they can better handle it.

One of my biggest concerns when I become a T is to be sure I really help my patients learn among other things, skill that enable them to reach their fullest potential in their own lives. If I am needed for guidance with that that is still of course ok, I think that is healthy. But it is not the job of a therapist to be the sole source of emotional connections or support. Your Therapist is REAL, they are a real person and I do believe that good T's really care and it's ok to care about them too. Even if they are a permanent fixture in your life, then they are still really more of a teacher, a guide, a support...any of those things. But they can't be a parent, a husband or any other real relationship.