Well I can't tell you much about how to control these outbursts, but I can tell you what I think right? This idea that taking responsibility for your actions equals being able to take abuse for extended periods of time is wrong. That seems incredibly toxic your mental well-being. I think reviewing the outbursts and figuring out what emotions, feelings, stresses were going on at the time would be beneficial. I hope with enough review you will find a common denominator. Honestly, rooting out the cause and reviewing it in a sort of third-person perspective is the only way I make sense of my anger. Not that it makes any sense... but hey ! Gotta try right?