I hope you don't resort to that! A 14 yr old at my youngest son's school committed sui just yesterday & it broke my heart! I didn't even know her but it still affected me deeply. I would HATE to here that happened to you! Please try to re-direct your thoughts to a more positive direction . Think of what it would do to your loved ones if you follow through with it. I know it's hard, but it IS NOT IMPOSSIBLE to overcome this situation.