Well...I had my session today and after much skirting the issue, hand wringing and saying what a horrible person I am (and trying to trust T that he won't fire me and having him reiterate the "only" conditions of which the relationship could be broken (legal, etc), I told him.

I didn't go into specifics on what I lied about, I just said "I lied about some things that happened in my past." T's response? Just a very simple, calm, "I know". Wow! talk about unexpected. He wasn't surprised (he actually said that), he wasn't angry, or hurt (my other fear, that he'll feel like I betrayed him). We didn't get to talk much more about it because it was near the end of the session and we ran out of time. I was SO MAD because by then the dam was open and I wanted to continue. I even asked if we could go longer but he didn't have an opening. So...I'll pick up when I see T next time.

It's funny...I don't feel full of shame like I did a week ago when I told T something else that was just as shameful. Instead, I feel relieved and almost happy in a way that (a) T knew all along and was just waiting for me to acknowledge it and (b) I can stop pretending and lying about my past and keeping my stories straight and I CAN be my true authentic self, like Elliemay mentioned. It's like I feel more optimistic and more trusting of T knowing that for the first time in my life I'll finally be able to address my motives behind my actions of constantly lying and telling stories about myself AND truly learning who I am.