My tutor caught me rubbing my eyes and struggling to keep awake... My brother struggled to get me to go out for a meal when I came home from college. I just wanted to keep locked up in my room with closed windows. But eventually he persuaded me to go out. I still wish I didn't go. I'm wondering if my doctor made the right decision by not putting me on medication... Because I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to go out, I don't get enough sleep at night and no matter how many times I try to see the good side to myself, the bad things overpower it and I tell myself I shouldn't exist and that little voice in my head may be right. And it scares me that I agree. No wonder I have the number for the crisis team high up on my phone.