hey everyone, i am a 28 year old portuguese guy.
in 2005 when i was 20 i moved out and went to the navy where i stayed for 3 years, with no problems at all, no homesick, nothing, just good life, i decided to leave the navy in 2008 and one of the reasons was my parents have a little business and i could help and someday manage it myself, but with time i realised it wasnt what i was expecting and working with family isnt a good thing for me, so i decided to apply for the police academy, i was accepted last year and i waited 1 year to be called, all that time i was really looking forward, couldnt wait to get my independence again, have my money and move away from parents house, i am in the academy since 13 january, first week and half were fine, then last friday i started getting anxious and i have trouble sleeping, the moment i try to sleep my heart starts pumping, my body shaking and i cant sleep even if im very tired, now i think about my parents everyday and i have a feeling of guilt, like i abandoned them, i am about 3 hours drive from home and i go every weekend, but while im here i dont feel like eating, talking or laughing, i feel like i want to cry sometimes, every little thing annoys me and i shut myself.
i think my parents are happy that im here, i tell them that i am enjoying it so they dont get worried, i talk to my dad every night on the phone, but sometimes i feel like giving up and go back home because i feel like i am getting depressed, but maybe its just homesickness and it will go away, but its the second time i move out and the first this didnt happen, and i am a 28 year old guy...
i am an only child, i had a sister who died 7 years ago, in 2007, but i dont think thats the reason.
and my life changed almost 100%, new schedules, new rules, everything... so i dont know what to do, i need some advice please, im affraid i might get depressed.