This has been a good thread, and I'm glad I took the time to read through it.

My dictionary defines *hypocrisy* as: The practice of professing beliefs, feelings, or virtues that one does not hold or possess; insincerity.

So, I'm left feeling confused about this subject. I have thought of myself as being a hypocrite in regards to an area of my life which involves my children and grandchildren. What confuses me is that I have very deep and loving feelings for them and have told them they are loved and cared about. And here is where the big *But* enters the picture. Because of a mental health problem I deal with on a daily basis and which has increasingly worsened through the years, I have isolated myself and have greatly restricted contact with them. I can talk with them over the phone but being around them causes me to go into emotional overload. My contamination issues skyrocket and the downward spiral begins. It's a horrible situation because I know all too well the emotional impact it has had on them. It's a situation where I have to tend to my self-care, and in doing so I have felt neglectful of their needs. It feels like a no win situation to me.

I possess those feelings of love and am sincere about those feelings I have for them. The time came when what I struggle with has stopped me from putting those feelings into actions. As I stated earlier, my face to face contact with them is severly restricted. Actions speak louder than words. So, does this make me a hypocrite or not? According to the definition, I'm not. Yet, I feel like one.

Calm