Uhm, hello. I do not know if this fits in relationships or sexual issues, but here goes...

Thanks to one of my friends, I have meet another friend (girl) this last Tuesday. (They knew each other since they were just kids).
We were talking the few days we knew each other, and she knew I was anti-social, but she likes to make people uncomfortable in a fun way.
So! Both, my friend and her, wanted to let me visit them for a film night this Friday.
Well, it was late Friday and they invited me over (2½ hours bus drive).
I said yes because I really want to meet someone, and I thought she was cute.
Well, as it turns out, no film were watched that night, more or less, it was me and her drinking a bit for the night, while my friend just kept go in and out of the room yelling "best wingman ever!".
She got a bit sick for drinking, so it did not end all that bright of a night.
Then the next day she invites me over on where she slept that night for a "friendly" cuddle, and yes, apparently she does that a lot with her friends.
She dares me, due to social awkwardness, to kiss her without saying it; I did it though... and made it a lot more awkward for me due to unexperienced with this.

Now that you know most of it, here comes the part it become confused for me. :S

So my friend have to go to his dad, and offered ME to either go home with her, or I go back home, and they stay for the day to do what they normally do. I felt like it was an obvious choice, so I took with her home.
One let to another, and suddenly we were watching the repeated film while having some time together...
As it might have let to "sexy time", we go for prevention, and she says p-pills would do, but I was not sure, and rather wanted to wait until we also had a condom, which we did not have. (She, nor me forced anyone to go through anything)
As the day goes around, I go home, and everything went weird for me.
After I got home, I was full of regrets of thinking she might never want to try again; I had the way that she was perfect for the first time because she was patient with me.
My thoughts where, I had it as it might was not a good idea anyways, and then again... (It went with these thoughts for the rest of the weekend)
Now here Sunday, we talked again, and went into the awkward “sexy time” that happened that turned into a walk away. She now sees me as a friend because she thinks/knows that the one you do it with for the first time you will always remember and will possibly always have emotions attached to. (In addition, I tried to convince her otherwise, as I became a bit desperate of the hopes of something more.)

In addition, she was the first one I ever kissed sober.

I hope someone can help me clear my thoughts out of this since I have never had anything with anyone until now…

Cheers and sorry for this long story,
Kantao ^^