I was on snap chat one day looking at peoples best friends... not sure if your familiar with snap chat... it is a bit confusing. I was looking at a friends best friends and went to one of the friends best friends best friends... is that correct... well simply put I went back like three generations... i guess... of best friends. And some ones snap chat name caught my attention because it was so... silly... a bit ratchet actually. Me being a curious person I decided to snap them, and Im pretty decent looking so the boy kept snapping me back and I thought he was 12 so I never snapped him back. Until one day I was pretty lonely and I decided Ill figure out his age... and I wasn't really looking for a boyfriend... It turned out that he was 17 a senior at a Michigan high school... kind of like me but I am a junior and I don't go to a privet Catholic School. So we began talking. We became friends quickly, we started texting about three weeks after I found out his age. And then about a month passed before we started skyping. We skyped all night long some times, and I started sleeping better... I had someone I could talk to... someone who didn't know anything about my past, some one who would treat me as if I was normal. Im not completely stupid, I didn't hide my past from him. We talked about everything almost. And I began trusting and loving him.

And he said I love you back.

I have this glitch where I begin to think as an adult would, or I see things from different shoes... which isnt bad. But I think to myself, your 17 youve never met this boy... what the fudge am I doing... and then I start thinking things that make it harder on myself...

It wont last
We arnt really in a real relationship
We cant actually love each other
He has more girls probably

And on and on, doubting every bit of everything... and then my loneliness gets greater and greater... and its all my fault!

Self inflicted.