Quote:
Originally Posted by Asiablue
Yes, but you are paying her to keep her feeling out of the room, her frustrations are nothing to do with you. So if you feel her emotions are coming into your therapy then that is a problem cos they shouldn't be.
Maybe you feel shamed because you have sensed her defending her own boundaries as if you are the one to have stepped all over them when in reality you have done nothing of the sort. It's like you're getting the responsibility of keeping her boundaries for her when that is so not your job.
Maybe she's not very good with boundaries or clear on what hers are, what she is comfortable with versus what is ethical? But again that's not your problem and she needs to speak to her own supervisor to work that stuff out.
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I think she actually is VERY clear on boundaries and good with them; I think she made "exceptions" a couple times for me because she thought it would help me trust her, which it very much did. And even though Ts are "supposed" to keep their feelings out of the room, I actually think I prefer it when she's honest with me about how she's responding to me or interpreting me, even if it's hard to hear. Like one time a few months ago when I was feeling vulnerable and projecting that and taking that out on her and not being very nice, she said, "You know, it's really unpleasant when you talk to me (or treat me or something like that) like this." And sort of jarred me, but it also really opened my eyes to what I was doing and got me to really notice when I was doing that with people who were not her, and that was really helpful to me. And I would much prefer a human T who tells me when she's frustrated with me than a robot T.
And I guess maybe I do feel like this whole boundary thing is my responsibility...because it feels to me like I've done something wrong, and I think she didn't mean for me to think that; it's just the way I interpreted it. Like she said she didn't mind any of the times I called before and it's not like a major hardship to receive a call from a client about progress they're making, and that it's totally normal to want to share this stuff with her...so I think maybe it might be just my sensitivities here...I don't know. I really don't want to overstep at all...