Thank you for sharing that, Ray. While I am living life in whatever mental state that I am in, my disease is at the gym 24hrs/day doing pushups, lifting weights and waiting for me to come to that blank mental spot..... Yesterday I was at the top of the world, chaired one meeting by noon and then chairing a brand new one at 5:30. Then, I woke up this morning feeling like drinking, or more specifically, putting a needle in my arm to kill the noise. I called my tdoc who is also in recovery and went in for a special session. We talked steps, and did a mini 4th and 5th in session. It is the little things, Ray, that are kicking my ***. I do know from experience that if I "out" my secrets and unhealthy thoughts I can then move ahead to doing the next right thing. The 12 steps have saved my *** and my life in many situations. You are doing GREAT, Ray!! You are way better than OK, you just don't know it. I am here for you and am so proud of you for seeing your truth. Many never see theirs.

Love ya,

Radar