Quote:
Originally Posted by Yearning0723
Sometimes I don't know if my desire for her to say she cares about ME specifically is part of the problem and just my old patterns or an actual thing that might be good for me...I have made A LOT of progress with her in six months, way more than I made with any more "lax" therapists in the past who I formed really unhealthy attachments to, so I don't know. I saw a therapist for four years who was way less boundaried but with whom I made absolutely no progress, so I'm not sure.
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Ok, so you need clear and consistent boundaries. But there's a way of delivering that without a client feeling uncared for. Maybe you need a little more warmth and personalisation from her?
My T has great boundaries but she's flexible when needed and i never feel out in the cold.
Also wanted to add; wanting her to care about you isn't a problem, that's normal. And if your old patterns are emerging, well that's ok too, it just means it's something that's not fully resolved and needs looked at again and again and again until it's not a problem anymore. But by denying it exists or feeling shamed for needing to feel cared about, those old patterns aren't going anywhere.