That's a big hurt to deal with. In no way is a mere year a whole lot of time to have spent processing that awful blow. I hope you don't take his departure to mean that there is something essentially forgettable about you. A lot of other things could be true.

Anyone in your position is going to hunger to know what happened. After 10 years, you have to have come to know this man at many levels. What was he looking for that he thought he could better find elsewhere, outside the marriage. I've known of a few marriages where the man left basically because he didn't like marital responsibility. I think these men weren't leaving there wives so much as they were leaving the state of marriage. As immature as it sounds (to me, anyways) some men just get to where they think they want to date the field again. They probably just can't stay with any one woman for ever.

It sounds like this is hurting your self-esteem. You describe yourself as "easy to forget." That's quite a verdict to pass on yourself. Do you feel like he was a great catch whom you were lucky to get? Are you "haunted" because you just can't make heads of tails of why he walked out . . . of why he fell out of love? Over the course of ten years, you must have gotten to know a thing or two about him. Maybe his feelings weren't all that deep in the first place, but you thought time would make them grow . . . and they didn't.

I'm sorry you've had your world upended like this. Somehow, though, you have to find a way to believe in yourself again.