I feel very guilty, you know? The GF spent four years of dealing with a man with un-diagnosed, un-medicated and untreated bipolar who is prone to going into rages. She stood by me for four years despite all that. When the diagnosis came along she started researching, buying books... trying to be supportive you know? And that was great. Love her for that and all the other awesome things she does. However... I am not going to become stable any time soon. Most of what I read on the subject say that, on average, a bipolar patient treated with a combination of medication, psychological treatment, exercise, and diet will reach a stable state in 18 months. That is a long time. I have just gotten to a state where I make enough money to go to counseling once a week and now that I am on a health plan I can go to a real MD instead of seeing a registered nurse for meds. But still... 18 months. I really don't want to put the GF though that, and on the flip-side, in her current state she might actually HINDER my progress. It is painful to say, but true.

Relationships just feel.... like something I am not supposed to experience right now. Like I said in a previous thread, I really think I need to live alone at this point.