Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Mama
I have no advice for you, I can only relate to you. Please know that you are not alone. I didn't even have the courage to tell my parents what happened to me. I don't think it would have mattered.
I was raped as a teenager and sexually abused as a child, (part of which the memories are still sketchy). Any way I could care less about having sex.Sex is a time when my mind goes away mentally. When I am board, or stressed, or angry I turn to watching porn. Not that it does anything for me, it is just a place where I find safety. Sick I know, but any way that is how I feel.
Sexual abuse affects us all in different ways. It affects our daily life, it affects our sex life. The best things you can do is seek counseling. The affects of abuse can be somewhat reversed. I have grown so much since starting T and disclosing this kinda of stuff to the T. It took me 25 years after the rape to tell someone and it was my current T.
I am glad you found the courage to speak out here. This is a most helpful site and so many people here have been threw the same thing you are going threw. Look in the survivors of abuse forum to read more on this subject. Please feel free to continue posting here. Talk and vent all you need to. If you want to PM me you certainly may.
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Thank you for sharing this. I really appreciate it.
After all these days of prayer and solitude, I believe I have to stop dwelling on the past, as hard as it may seem. I think that I have blamed myself because of what my mother told me or maybe even because I enjoyed those sensations that man awakened in me and then her blaming me. I don't know for sure, but that's the past, there's nothing I can do to erase what happened then, but to stop looking for sex when everything is going wrong, because it just leads to more pain and emptiness.
I really wish you will find that time, place and person, where it feels like home and everything will feel just as safe and peaceful as you deserve. And thanks again for sharing, it's a good sign that you are much nearer to getting over it.