Sounds like "Mom" is a piece of work. With all due respect to your ancestral culture, it also sounds like this family needs to get Americanized . . . in the modern sense. I'll bet the kids are well on their way to that, whether or not you and hubby can keep up. Keep going to that gym. Make friends there and stop for coffee with them. You don't have to rush home. You are living like a woman in a Pearl Buck novel. I'll bet your daughter has no intention of getting into that trap. She's already signaling "Dad" not to expect that, and I'ld have to take her side on that.

You do seem to have lost yourself. At age 39, you still have time to find you. No, Hubby's every whim does NOT have to be obeyed. You are an adult. I hope Mother-in-law pitches in with the cooking and cleaning. Otherwise, you are living as a slave. Explain to H. that this is 21rst century and time to live like modern family. I'm glad he likes the kids. He is confused himself about relationships because his family is controlling him. Some counseling might be good for you and your H. to break away from his parents' domination. His jealousy is just his way to keep reminding you that you are his property. He is holding on to you, like his parents hold on to him. You have to break the cycle. Hard to do, I'm sure. You and your H. need time to be together away from his mom. Of course, she will fight that. You have to get tough. Very hard to do, I'm sure.