oh yes i think that things shoud change, but the sad thing is i wouldnt know where to start so i am forever stuck in the same rutt, forever questioning myself has to whether what i am doing is the right thing or not for me, in the end i end up in destructive relationships that work for noone, and the reason?, its all i know, i know no better, thats a hard pattern to get out off, and it doesnt help when it is facilitated / controled by one side of the partnership, my answer to this is to be alone and not get into a relationship of any kind, my answer is not working, i am so lonley, i want to reach out but i cant for fear of falling into the same trap over and over again, dont get me wrong i can hurt people emotionally just has much has they hurt me, i just chose not to, yet i do nothing about it when they hurt me, i guess i will always be alone, safer for all concerned