'how can i be to blame'

maybe... the appeal lies right there? if you take the passive role then how can you be to blame if anything goes wrong?

when you were little...

was your mother / father fairly controlling?

did they seem happiest with you when you disregarded your needs and followed their directions / instructions?

if that is a pattern...

then i guess you would have trouble even identifying what your needs / desires are. some people think they live their lives giving more to others than others give to them. they don't understand that oftentimes... that involves projecting their desires / wishes onto others and then acting in a way that meets that. if you can't identify what you need / want then identifying what others need / want can be harder too...

i guess this has become the catch all thread for everyone disclosing about their sexual issues...