Hello everyone... been a long time since I have posted here. Really don't know how to put it, today I just want to run as far from here as I can get and never look back. I have been gone for 5 days camping and I hate to camp. I got home and just yelled at my son for no reason... just because he was there. When I wasn't yelling at him all I have been doing is crying. Thoughts keep racing in my mind and I just can't stop them... and the thoughts arn't good either.
This all started last week when I went to see my psychiatrist and she is refusing to perscribe my meds more then a week at a time. It really is a pain because I live 40 miles from the pharmacy and I wouldn't have to go to town if it wasn't for my meds this week. My therapist is on vacation and I don't see him till next week now... The good thing is that next month I will have a new therapist... we just don't get along. I just don't know how to deal with my feelings right now and all the anger I am feeling inside...I have looked at my meds a few times today... the thought is there but I have been fighting the temptation...I just don't want to end up back in the hospital again this month...May and June and 8 ECT sessions really has been enought I think...I just don't know how to control what is going on in my mind... Just needed to get it out and hope that it will help a little...Maybe tomorrow I will go and talk to a therapist that is on call...that might help too... Thanks for allowing me to get some of this out of my mind and out...You all are so wonderful...again THANK YOU ALL...