Not feeling and denial tend to go hand in hand. It's pretty clear you look to authority figures to make your decisions for you and to follow their lead--except that some part of you must recognize abuse because you argue. Or you argue because there's some benefit to that for you. But either way, it doesn't follow any model of trauma therapy or therapy relationship that I've ever heard of. I just don't understand your need to stay with him. And I think you need help to understand that, too, and you won't get that with your current T. It just so strongly has the feel of a re-enactment to me, not productive therapy.

I wouldn't worry about having too much written, nor whether you read it or give it to her. I suspect she will be somewhat directive because of the limited time.