as you may know some things are best dealt with via words, others by actions, when words fail, actions count, so in answer to your question if my son had been there i would have not had to use neither, but he wasnt and the man in question was standing in the way of me seeing my son, what would you rather have a dad who talks and does nothing when rebuffed, or a dad that is prepared to fight for you whatever the consequences? i know what kind of dad i had and it wasnt the ideal, i am prepared to fight for my son if / when i need to, i would prefer to verbally battle but that doesnt always work, sometimes direct physical action is the only way and this time it has worked for me, we will see on saturday when i see my son what the full extent of the damage is going to be, but at least i am going to be there to put my side across this time.