Rudeness is rudeness, and I don't think of the therapy relationship as a special zone where common courtesy no longer applies. I think therapy's theory and symbolism can convolute simple events that occur between two people.

I can understand why a therapist would not encourage contact between sessions--the ultimate goal being self sufficiency. I can think of myriad responses to your questions that would have been far more respectful.

Your initial post gave me the image of a condescending, disapproving authoritarian--a bully. Bullies get their way by putting those around them on eggshells, hoping not inadvertently to ignite another capricious rage. I would not want to tell someone like that my confidences or hand him my vulnerabilities.

His "pity" comment struck me as an ambush. I thought therapy the room to discuss sadness and vulnerable. Now he's scornful? His clients are expected to measure the correct amount of negative emotions to please him?

There are a some modalities that are deliberately confrontational-- Gestalt, Dr. Phil. Or the clinicians simply are being boorish. I don't see them qualified to offer life lessons.