Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
So this has been his pattern. He eventually finds any woman easy to forget. That should be a lot less damaging to your self-esteem than if it weren't his pattern. Not saying that it makes the loss of the marriage easy to accept.
Love is often blind alright, but I would find it hard to imagine that those ten years were all that full of bliss . . . not with a man who is essentially self-centered. Sooner, or later, he'll get his. He is not laying the groundwork to be surrounded by love in his golden years. Getting hurt, however, will not ever make him sympathetic to those whom he has hurt. That capacity is not in him.
I don't believe that you really "need to forgive and move on." You just need to move on. For the near future, you will not feel forgiving. It would be screwy, if you did.
On television, I see families of murder victims showing up at court to tell the murderer that they "forgive" him. That is such a bunch of crap. This idea that we are only as big as our capacity to forgive is something that I find highly questionable. Sorry to digress.
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I'm so fortunate to have you to talk with Rose. The forgiving is for me not him. When you don't forgive it's like taking poison waiting for the other person to die. You can forgive but not condone the behavior. I don't want to carry resentments with me and be bitter. But I'd sure like to give him a thumping. We didn't fight. It was storybook wonderful in the beginning but his selfishness peeked through out the years. He was never unkind but became impotent and I think he felt if theres no sex what do I need a woman for. Also he owned a huge amount of property he wanted my name off of. I felt a light go on when you said about the other women he easily forgot and that helped more than you know. You're a blessed human being Rose for being there.