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Originally Posted by someone321
Thanks for this - it's and interesting view, I haven't thought about it... Yeah, I know that it might look like a light version of abuser/abused relationship and it pretty annoys and surprises me as I would never think that I've ever had such relation with anyone - however actually many years ago the relationship with my brother could be similar...
Could that be a transference? I would always think that no, as I see my T as a T not as my brother or whoever else and it is just the second month of the therapy so I guess it would be too early... But it is of course possible that I am seeing my T as I want to and not as he really is - that's why I'm so confused and I have no idea if I really have a reason or not... Because words which I've cited, he has really said but of course the whole context is also very important and if it is really a transference he could have a reason to say what he said, right? I just cannot decide how I can find out what is going on...
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Oh good... I didn't want to come across as accusatory. Just as something to consider. Then I think your instincts were working properly the day he called you dumb and you almost walked out. Still sometimes I think it is true that we either set up repeat scenarios for our selves or whatever higher power we believe in does. So it might be good to see this that way and talk to another t like the one you contacted to discuss before leaving. That will let you treat it like a learning experience. There are several ways another t might take it. I am not in any way saying you should put up with him but you indicated not wanting to be without a t and there are aspects you like about him. I am not an expert but transference of abusive relationship is probably not healthy yet it would be healthy to figure it out. I would think it would be very difficult to do that with the "abuser" but like I said... I am not an expert.
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