Whoa! You are only responsible for yourself and how you present yourself and it sounds like you want to learn how to express your anger and set boundaries in the working environment so work situations do not get out of hand/explode so that you have to respond equally. The "everything is my fault" and not "deserving" to have a job are rarely the case and one does not "deserve" jobs anyway, one wants, applies for, and is hired for a job because everyone wants to work together and thinks it will work out. It probably won't forever, work needs change, and what we want for ourselves changes, etc.

Work with your T to learn how to set boundaries with others on how you want to be treated. One cannot know who or how one will treat us "badly" but when they do, one says at that very moment, very specifically what one feels has gone wrong and makes sure what we think/feel is the way it actually is and that we do not misunderstand and then we decide what we want to do for ourselves about it. We could ignore it because we don't work with that person/care, it does not directly affect us; speak up and tell whoever we do not like it; speak up and tell whoever we will not tolerate such words/behavior on the part of that person and if they say/do whatever again we will file a complaint or take legal action or quit or whatever it is we decide we want to do. If we are pretty sure the person is not going to stop/be influenced by our view of how we want to be treated (some bosses/owners of companies, etc.) we start making our own plans/looking for other jobs, etc. so we can leave anyway as it does not look like where we are is healthy for us.

But one needs to learn self esteem to feel good about one's self, want to support one's self in order to be able to know you are in control and responsible for yourself. Taking responsibility for yourself after bad behavior so one can correct one's mistakes is less enjoyable than being responsible "in front" and having a "plan" (practice in standing up for one's self and what one wants and boundaries in place).