I perceive that I'm playing a double game with Madame T.

My overt actions in the past six months have been:
1. a get well card where she injured herself (she sent an email thanking me)
2. an email saying how I'm getting on with Mr T and showing a drawing I did (no response)
3. asking a friend to say "CE says hello" (that should go down today)

But internally I am still very angry and I'm making a serious effort to forget her (see the affirmation below).

Outwardly I'm trying to keep the door open; inwardly I'm trying to close it.

Why can't I make up my mind to a clear and consistent policy?