I think you still want something from her, some acknowledgment you meant something to her and that she is sorry you are gone/she done you wrong/etc perhaps.
I am sorry you are still struggling with your idea of her.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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