I'm sorry everything is so messed up for you right now. I hope it can get better. And if you need to cry just cry, it helps! I'm not really the one to say dont cut because i recently cut also.
About that guy, at least you are friends with him! Maybe over time he will change his mind once he gets to know you better.
I really hope you can find a release for all the emotions you are feeling now. And pc is a great release! We are always here!
((((( sami3 )))))
Take good care of yourself!
-Megan-