So what do I do about it to fix this rupture in our relationship? I think maybe a big part is that I REALIZED during our session that she was letting a lot of her own stuff get in the way, and my first instinct was to do the whole compassion thing that she's been teaching me to do with other people and be like, "Okay, T, for some reason me stating my discomfort with your boundaries is making you uncomfortable/bringing something up for you. Where do you think that's coming from? Could it be because of past experiences with other clients who are not me?" (No, I did NOT say that to her, but I was tempted for about thirty seconds.)

It's not MY job to be HER therapist, but I was noticing that her own stuff was in the way and I didn't really know how to respond to that in a way that wasn't going to sound critical of her, because she already thought I was criticizing her when I wasn't (or didn't mean to). So then my first instinct is to go in when I see her next week and apologize for upsetting her (because obviously she was upset because she was getting all defensive) or for making her feel criticized or whatever, but I don't think that's actually my role or responsibility and that might actually make things worse...that's the thing about therapists. You can't really relate to them interpersonally because they're not comfortable with that, but they're also just...people.