First, I want to say sorry that he's not agreeing yet to your idea about having an evening for the two of you. I wonder why he's not? And I want to share with you this link about the stages of loss and grief: 7 STAGES OF GRIEF - so hopefully there's something in here that'll help in understanding. A person might go through some or all of these stages, and in any order. Time-wise? Getting over the loss of someone significant can take time. Maybe your husband is worried about loss of his father too? - And maybe he's concerned about his father's well-being (the loneliness) - altho there might be some other ways for his father to deal with his own loss and grief. Sounds like your husband wants to include his father, but he hasn't really consulted you about this, so maybe it's time to find some balance? Hope things settle so that each person will feel ok. It takes time to get over the loss of someone.