Wow..Rose76, you get my problem!

I am bored, empty, and he is thrilling. Not saying I don't bring my own things to the table, I'm pretty awesome too, but I really need to develop my own fulfilling life. Deal with the inner void. This is what I call the mother problem, what you call the bigger broader problem. Sounds like you are familiar?

I am torn about telling him to FO. Sorry for the language, but I do feel anger sometimes, rarely, but want to allow myself to express it. I have thought about it. Am not there yet. I think I still harbor the hope that somehow things will work out.

Most of the things Ive read online about breakups have been superficial and hokie, but I stumbled on a page that was great. One of the lines I remember was that one of the "10" things to do to deal with it was to kill hope. As long as hope was alive, healing wasn't possible. I know this intellictually, but a part of me doesn't want to kill the hope. This is part of my obsession/sickness. But I am striving for this. I feel like I am making progress, wish I would hurry up a bit

It will never be less hard.. but yes, I am clinging to the hope that it will be. Since I've been here before, I think my problem is bigger than "him." I worry that I shouldn't date anyone else (not that I'm ready to), until I figure out why I am this way.

You have no idea about the addiction... the things I think and do, the time and emotions I invest, it's just insane.