I agree. It sounds like you are under a lot of pressure and you are really hard on yourself. If you can work up to it I think it would really benefit you to try and speak with the school counselor. Write down what you want to tell him/her if you have to and they will be able to give you advice and possibly help to facilitate a conversation with your parents. As you can see by my most recent post about some problems that I'm having in college, sometimes our minds work up these big awful scenarios about how other people might react when we talk to them and most of the time it ends up being so much better and different than we imagined. Please try and reach out to someone who can help you. You don't deserve to suffer like this and you are not weak or stupid or pathetic. Someone just needs to provide you with the tools to deal with your individual situation.