I'm older and have been celibate for quite awhile although not by my own choice.
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Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
How do you mentally go about being permanently celibate? I mean, I constantly think about sex/relationships etc...
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I just keep my expectations low. If I watch a good TV show, it's been a productive day, kind of like that divorcee in Mona Lisa Smiles. I watch romantic movies and so forth, but I think of romance as something that's for everyone else to experience. Valentine's Day has never been my day.
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How can you ever be emotionally intimate with someone if you're never in a relationship?
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I don't know.
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Is there a way to stop the need to masturbate too? Is it even ok to do that? I mean, it gets painful at times if I keep avoiding it. But it usually makes my sex drive higher rather than lower.
Are there any ways to actually lower your sex drive?
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As you get older, your sex drive naturally wanes, so it gets easier to not have sex. Jerking off becomes nothing more than a body function like going to the bathroom, so it's easy to think of other things to do with your time unless you really like going to the bathroom.
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How do you avoid seeing other couples, or sex-related things on TV without staying in your room your whole life. (Note that seeing people kiss disturbs me...although I do admittedly watch porn and it bothers me in a completely different way).
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I mainly watch movies that are less erotic. I avoid porn because I don't like the "aftertaste", the bad feeling it leaves afterwards. I'm not much of a voyeur.
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What do you tell people when they ask you why you don't date and why no one likes you enough to ask you on a date?
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As soon as anyone knows me well enough to fully understand my lack of "getting any", they tend to act superior. Male coworkers tend to treat me as though I'm gay. Once they act that way, I just try to avoid them. I don't have a lot of friends.
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Does it get easier or harder as you get older realizing you'll never have sex? Never be touched? Never be kissed (well again anyway, I kissed someone 9 years ago)? Never be married? Never love anyone or be loved?
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I take consolation in the fact that some people never marry or have children by choice. Also, many people wind up in marriages lacking genuine love or feeling tied down to their spouse and children. Then there's many pets who never get the chance to fulfill their natural urges. It's not really so unique to miss out on love or sex. Part of my celibacy is structural. That is, I've been living in a situation where I don't meet potential mates.
On the other hand, it's beyond my comprehension when someone posts a thread on here because they can't handle going without sex for a few days. I'm jealous of people who have more sex in a year than I've had in my lifetime.
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I'm just wondering if anybody has experience with being celibate and how you cope with it.
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I have experience with it, and cope just by taking a day at a time, appreciating the small things such as a good cup of coffee, knowing that celibacy may last the rest of my life. As for potential mates, they seem to arrive about once a decade, and I messed up my last opportunity that happened a few weeks ago, but it was there for only a few seconds so I can't really blame myself. A woman hit on me in the street for the first time in my life, or at least that's what I think happened.