You sound pretty mad at yourself. It sounds like you are already punishing yourself a lot just with those feelings. How is hurting yourself more going to help? It will make the feelings fade for a little while, but then you will only feel worse, and whatever you are mad at yourself about won't be any better.

Do you have a problem that we can help you work through? Tell us how to help you.

TC and be gentle with yourself. You're human like the rest of us.

Rap