So I am seeing my therapist today...and its causing me pain on top of the pain I already have.

I find my therapist to be triggering. I hate him!!!

...but this is not about that...

I punched myself in the face today. I started doing this in the last few years. I tried to find things on line about it. Many things on line. ...but not much detail about it. I have given myself black eyes and lumps all over my face and head.

The thing is, its my spouse who used to punch me in the head. ...but in the back of the head.

Now I just punch myself ...hes happy with that!!!!

I am thinking it happens related to people blaming us for what they do and I think it sticks in our minds like that.
Its just a thought about it.

When people seem to flip things backwards or blame me for their problems or what they did. I punch myself in the face hard. Many times.

I also do it...because I find myself to be worthless. ...and to even say anything or speak against others attacks or wrong to be worthless.

Well I got triggered today by ignorant people who want to play self important and silence me. ---Its common among people who are victimized isn't it?---
Silencing the victim and blaming us!

Its a mind rape!

The thing is... they win!!! They win when they torment you and blame you and you hurt yourself!!! They love it!!! Your abusers are the one to give the guidance and they SPEW THEIR IGNORANCE!!!

Your just left there punching yourself in the head and face with their backwards thoughts.

I hate my face, I hate my brain and I don't want to know any thoughts and for it just not to exist!!!