Quote:
Originally Posted by SeekingHelp18
In my mind, you are doing yourself a HUGE DISSERVICE when you dismiss intimacy. When you say "Never love anyone or be loved", you realize how miserable that is right? I mean sorry if I come off as insensitive, only trying to help you out my friend. In my opinion, a human being needs to feel love to survive. Whether it be from his family, a partner, or himself. The latter being not so good. Don't you wish to have someone to share your thoughts with? To connect with and let in? I think this desire drives a lot of us. I know that I do not want to be alone in this world my whole life, that brings a *******ed tear to my eye just typing it. Love does not equal sex, in my opinion. Marriage is simply an agreement between you, your partner, faith (if this applies), and government. It has nothing to do with love.
Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Jim Morrison
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Of course I want someone to share thoughts with etc., but I know it's unreasonable to ask for. The only person who was close to me for more than a year or so even told me she often wanted to hit me in the face. Sharing myself with someone will cause even a very non-violent person to want to hit me. I'm honestly surprised I haven't spent most of my life being beat up. That's just how terrible I apparently am. Whether it's a personality disorder or Asperger's or something else, I'm not someone that someone else can stand in anything more than small doses.
And I'm not asexual. I think about sex constantly. CONSTANTLY. I dream about sex constantly. I have rarely a moment of peace. I just want to let the desire go, so I can just move on with my life finally! If I knew of a way to stop thinking about it, I'd do it—even if it meant the removal of all my sex organs. I just don't quite understand what I did to deserve this torture. And no, masturbation does nothing to help. All it does is prevent me from getting sleep or wasting even more time.
And no, I can't go get laid by a random person…but for my own safety, I can't let anyone get too close.