|
My therapist has “treated” my guilt with reality statements. Don’t know if it will help you, I hope it doesn’t seem unempathic, but reality is not empathic, it just is. So, here goes:
You are not perfect.
Your ex-girlfriend is not perfect.
After you discovered the crush, could you have been satisfied with the relationship, knowing how she felt about your friend? If not, then a break-up, in some fashion, was inevitable.
Like all emotions, guilt exists to help us. You did the best you could in this situation, there were some effects you didn’t expect and regret. Guilt helps us learn to be more careful in the future. Nevertheless, you are not responsible for your ex-girlfriend’s feelings. Her blaming you doesn’t make it your responsibility. That’s just her point of view, maybe so she doesn’t have to look at her part in the situation.
Getting over something like this takes time, like the flu. Life is just hard sometimes. It hurts and does get better but not overnight. One day at a time.
|